It was mother’s day and the first thing I did was grab my phone and send a message to my mother saying how much I appreciate her and how much I love her. I didn’t call her because it would be too awkward to say these things to her and maybe she had the same reason why she replied through sms too. Her message was “My daughter, thank you for appreciating my ways on how I raised you and thank you for loving your parents. I hardly ever tell you how much I love you but you know that I do, I love you and your kids. ” I almost cried after reading this.
My mother was a tiger mom too. I still remember how I detested her. I hate her ways. I would always lock myself in my room to simply avoid her. I even went out on weekend and lied that I have to research on something or we have a group study so that I could stay away from her. Those were the days that I told myself that if I will be a mother I will not be like her. I will let my children do whatever they want. I was wrong.
I never understand my mother until I became a mother myself. I realize how much she loves me and my siblings. Looking back, I apprehended that she was right on almost everything. She did all those things that I thought was despicable, for us. Now I know why she always says “Someday, you will know that I am right and I am doing this for your own good. I will never harm you or do anything that isn’t good for you.” I would always answer back that I hate those lines and I will never understand her. She will then walk away with a disappointed look on her face.
I had always received punishments like until I don’t finish the house works assigned for me; I couldn’t watch my favorite weekend shows. If I don’t get home on time she would never allow me to go out on weekend. She never allows me to go on a swimming party especially if it is overnight. But then I would lie; I would tell her that I have a group project and would be spending the night with group mates. I can’t use the phone for flirting, it’s either friendship thing or school related otherwise she would scold me even if the person on the other line might heard it. The list is so long I can’t itemize all of them.
On the 22nd year of my life, I’ve fallen in love with an extremely wrong man. She would reprimand me for being in a group with him, but I can’t help it because we’re working on the same place. I would come home late at night and told her that I was old enough and I can handle myself. She was right, he was a lying jerk. I ended up broken hearted and jobless because of that bastard, but my parents were there for me. I cried so hard and they lend me their shoulders. That time, I listened to her while crying and she told me these exact words. “To meet a good man, one must be a good woman. Pull yourself up. You are an educated woman equipped with all the wisdom in the world; you must not be a loser. Remember all those things we have done to make you finish your studies, use them to stand and find yourself. We will always be here but you must protect yourself when we aren’t there”. For the last time, I cried overnight and ponder what my mother had told me. The next day, I found myself laughing again and ready for the day. My father found me another job that swiftly leads me to a good man, my husband the father of my children.
Life is ironic. I promised not to be like her but gradually I found myself really just akin to her which is not a bad thing. I found myself saying the same things to my kids. I see myself on them. They are my nemesis but someday just like my mother has told me, they will understand me.