Last night, I watched Notting Hill and Bridget Jones’s Diary once again. I’ve been watching this kind of films from time to time whenever I had the chance because it reminds me of that ‘delicious feeling’ I ‘often’ had years ago. I described the feeling as delicious because it is so sweet and tangy at the same time and often because I always fancy love. Moments from these films were classic. It made me smile and cry a little bit and wished that I have the same love story. I wanted to be Bridget, and I wanted to be Ana. I wanted a guy who’s as serious and handsome as Mark Darcy and as carefree as Will Thacker. Though I’m wishing, I know that having a similar love story will be surreal. I have my own and it’s just as beautiful.
Then all of a sudden, I realized that there are two kinds of feeling involved when you are in love.
The first one is the feeling when you have those “butterfly in the stomach” thing whenever he’s near. You’re wishing that every phone call was him. Those exchanges of glances make your heart skip a beat and your palms were cold and sweaty the first time you hold hands. You are thrilled every time you met him and sad whenever you parted. Whispering “I love you’s” from time to time. Cuddling, kissing and some intimate moments were certainly the best. Remember that? It was heaven isn’t it? Like you were walking in the clouds and everything is so colorful. Scribbling your name with his surname is an epic and then you suddenly realized that you wanted to share the rest of your life with him.
Fortunately and unfortunately maybe, he proposed. Awesome. You got married and soon after you have kids, a house to build, a car to own and expenses to be paid.
Suddenly, holding hands is the most normal thing on earth. Kissing will be during goodbyes at morning or goodnights. Sometimes it happens, oftentimes not. Weekends, can be no shower days and dressing is an effort. You’ve come to the point of being “dangerously comfortable” with each other. You know, farting and then laughing after. Peeing while he’s brushing his teeth and vice versa. You fight like there’s no reconciliation after but yes, you still love each other like mad. In other words, that ‘spark’ is lost. Well, this is the second feeling.
The first one always feels so good because of the thrill and honestly, I miss this kind of thing. But the second one is where you have your heart at peace. Everything is calm. Your love for each other grows deeper, further than that ‘moment of excitement’ thing. It’s unconditional and beyond imperfections. You see through him and you have responsibilities to nurture each other.
But which do I prefer? I choose the second one. I opt to be in love in a mature way. Not that I’m saying that the first one isn’t established but that feeling can’t go on forever. It’s only momentary because it is a fact that you can’t be thrilled all the time. Women in general always complain about missing the spark but little did I notice that it is a sign that your relationship has improved. And imagine having that feeling everyday for the rest of your life, won’t you feel tired? It is normal to miss that feeling but you just can’t force it. So, watching romantic and rom-com films might help. I’m just saying.