Mommy Status: It’s complicated

“Why are you always mad at me and Wacky?! You and daddy, you and daddy!” Then she ran into her room and slammed the door. For the first time in my life I was left speechless. I know she’s hurt and I don’t know what to do. I told her to come out and I will explain her why. She followed and sat in front of me with folded arms and pouty lips. I looked into her eyes and try to open my mouth to start but I can’t find the right words. I just don’t know what to say.

How can I tell her that when I say “NO!” it’s because those things or actions were bad for them? It’s either they will be hurt or they will get sick. How can I tell her that scolding or telling them what’s right, is for them to be good individuals someday? How could I possibly stay cool, when I saw them fall and get hurt? How can I be happy when they don’t eat or sleep or take their meds when they are sick? How do I tell her that I don’t intentionally ruin their days, it’s just that I want the best for them? How can I make her understand that Mommy is still a human with bad days and sick moments? Mommy sometimes gets tired, so weary that playing tea party and sword fight are almost impossible. How do I tell her that not buying all those toys is not because Mommy and the Daddy is being selfish, it’s because we want them to learn the value of money and the importance of being contented? How do I tell her these? Will she understand me? How can I say that we’re not mad? We just need ‘that voice’ to render a little authority.

After contemplating, I finally told her that it’s because we love her. We love them so much. I hugged her and I felt that her resentment is settling. I know I still don’t give her the answer that she wants and that she still doesn’t understand but for me it’s enough. At least for myself, I know that it’s the only reason why.



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