Tantrums and my not so smart tips on how to deal with it


I’ve been a stay at home mom for almost five years and those years were bittersweet. Though I love my kids more than anything or anyone there are times that I don’t know what to do with them anymore. At times they are just impossible. So, I and hubbs have tried some methods to curtail most of their bad habits. Some of them worked and some of them don’t. I often invented the technique and let the hubby believe that it was effective based on research. So, I would like to share these with all the new moms out there who are struggling with their little ones. I’m not sure if these will help but at least you’ll know that you’re not alone. Some of my smart practices are as follows:

Ignore them. Just beware because crying may spiral to a stage that you can’t bear with it anymore until you just can’t disregard them. This method always fail but at least it provides me a moment to relax a little, you know breath in breath out and then with a shaky voice I shall ask “For the nth time, what do you want?” Oh wait this works well when it’s nap time, I just put them to bed while crying and then they pass out. Bad mommy I know; but hey, it’s called tiring them out. Just don’t forget to kiss them while they doze off. They’ll remember the last thing.

Play with them.  Most of the times they are just craving for attention so just give them your full interest. This method is fail proof if you have the stamina to play pretend for two hours or more; if you can sword fight, monster fight, wrestling for more hours and fail proof, if you can live in the fort made of blanket, dance endlessly and sing songs per request. But who can do that for hours? I can’t do that so most of the time we end up fighting. Yes, being the oldest and the mother hen I’m that immature. No, I’m done playing let’s do something else.

Offer them to do some artwork with you. The house will be in chaos but they will be occupied for hours. I just don’t want the Play-Doh because it takes me forever to clean the mess afterwards. I like painting, colouring and “scrap” booking, hair styling etc.

Stand in the corner. I let them cry and whine and shout and stomp in the corner. This is a new method and it works like magic. It was based on a research that I can’t find anymore but it really works for us. They will immediately stop the tantrums after I put them in the “crying corner”.

“Do you want to cry? Ok, stand in the corner and tell me when you’re finish.”

They will try to cry, but then they will get bored and will tell you right away that they are finish crying already. “Just give me a hug, mommy.” Snoot and it’s done.

Let the TV do the work.  This is my most effective method. Victory is mine, bwahahahaha! Just choose kid friendly shows. For ages 1-3 Barney and Dora is the best sitter. Oh, how I love Barney. There are times, when I called Barney “hubby”! Isn’t he the most patient dinosaur in the world?! But for ages, 4 and up Barney won’t appeal anymore. They love movies! Some of their favourites are Disney/Pixar animation movies. I have every movie that you can think of. Thank you Pirate bay! I’m seeding right now. But be reminded that most of the kid friendly shows aren’t that friendly. Some are bad influences and that include Wizards of the Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, Good luck Charlie, Kick Ass and Shake It up. Of course, it’s based on my observation only. These shows might be good for your kids if you wish to have a 4 year old with rolling eyeballs every time you asked a question then go on. Don’t blame me.

Oh, just take a moment to explain the story of the film. Impart the lessons and highlight the good and bad in the show or picture. Do not let them watch commercials or regular channels just stay at Disney or Cartoon Network but still you have to be very careful in selecting some shows. If possible and you have resources, try Barbara Milne educational Videos, Gigglebellies and Alphabet Races.

Bribe them. Give those chocolates, brownies, ice cream, Pringles and lays. That is if I want them to pass on the important meals of the day because they won’t eat anything I cooked after eating those junkies. Some PMS days, I give in but the guilt kills me, not!

The Desperate Method. Find their weakness and work on it. My kids can’t stand seeing me cry or sick. Being the best actress, I often borrow my face in my hands and fake a cry. Cover myself in blanket and pretend that I’m sick somewhere. That’s it. They will sit and play. They will be quiet as long as I am sad or in the blanket. But I really don’t like this scheme because I felt bad and my kids are geniuses.

Mom, where’s your tear?

Oh, I wipe it away.

Mom, I thought you’re sick; why are you laughing with your friend?

Because he’s funny and now I’m sick again because of the hard core laughing.”

So, I save it for those times that it’s too much. Like, if they don’t want to go to school or wants me to produce something impossible. And besides I felt like a mental whenever I do this but it’s really hilarious.  I deserve an Oscar!

Go out and enjoy! This method will really destruct your little ones from whining and crying but I’m bad at this. Going out means a lot of preparation for us especially now that we’re very near the North Pole. The weather is so awful and playing outside is really not always the option. But when in Pinas, we literally live outside. We even took a bath in the yard. So take advantage of the weather, walk, run, swim and drive. Go to the mall even you’re not shopping, just stay away from toys, balloons, and character things. You know what I mean.

So just in case, things go out of control try using combinations like ignore them and let them watch the tv. Be a kind mom put some chips or cookies in a bowl place in front of them while watching. You can do some of the house works without a child hugging your legs. But of course, this combination is bad.

Just in case again none of my techniques or none of yours works; please check if they are sick or uncomfortable. I realized that unless a child is sick, stress and sad or hurt, or something happens in school there’s no reason for tantrums. We have different language and if they can’t express their feeling they will cry. That’s their only way to get our attention, to send the message that they need something or if they are unwell.

In general, keeping a child happy and loved is the best method of keeping them outburst free. But since keeping them pleased requires a lot of money and hard work and it’s really hard at times so just sit and hug them a lot. Say I love you every hour, everyday because it’s free and it feels good.

Oh, if they throw tantrums in public, I can’t offer some solutions right now because I’m still trying to device a method and I’m really clueless.

 

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