Not a Valentine’s Day Post

I am a weirdo. I asked my hubby a lot of what ifs. I will create a situation and he has to give his judgment or feedback. It’s like a game we’ve been playing for six years. Sometimes it’s fun and often times he’s a Debbie Downer. He’s a bubble blower. As soon as he tells the truth I am done. Here are some instances to make you understand what I am blabbing about.

It’s Saturday after breakfast. The kids are playing in front of us while we chit chat about anything. Then, I realize that Zac Efron is really hot.

Me: Hubby, what if I am trapped in a beautiful island. You know an island with complete luxurious amenities. Spas, designer boutiques, gym, books, a lot of healthy food choices and everything that I needed to survive glamorously. But then I will find out that I am not alone. In the swimming pool I will find Zac Efron, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, Liam and Chris Hemsworth and Piolo Pascual swimming like Greek Gods. Do you think they will like me? Being the only girl in the island, do you think they will fight over me?

Hubby: No, they will fall in love with each other.

Me: (Nodding) Hmm… I’ll be the maid for sure.

We both burst out laughing but ouch! Why can’t he just say yes? Though I know he’s somewhat right.

Every Friday we have this movie night and one time we marathon the Bourne Trilogy. I was really thrilled with the story and the next morning while we were walking…

Me: What if we act like we’re criminals or we’re hiding from the police. Isn’t it fun?! Oh, there!
(Two policemen approach in uniform)
Perfect! C’mon hubby! Be vigilant! Let’s move our eyes from side to side and walk faster like Jason Bourne.

Hubby: No, they will not think we’re criminals. They will think we’re crazy!

Me: You’re right they won’t believe us because we have kids in tow.
Next time, let’s pretend somewhere else without the kids. Pinas will be the perfect setting!

Insert evil laugh here.

One time I was reading Sylvia Day’s Bared to You. I told him that it was better than Fifty Shades of Grey. While I hate that book, it’s odd that I’ve read all of them.

Me: You know this book is hotter than fifty shades. I don’t like this either but the scenes are more vivid and graphic. One scene is when Gideon arrive unannounced and swept Eva on her feet and laid her on the couch without further a due. Just like that, he made love to her without preparations and cooking dinner. Why can’t we do that?

Hubby: You know I can’t do that. I can’t just come and sweep you on your feet. The kids will be there greeting me and besides you’re always doing something but you know we can… (Insert some adult conversation here that involves some teasing and flirting)

All right, I know we can’t really do that. I’m busy and he’s tired. I need to fix dinner first, clean the kitchen, shower the kids, put them to bed and I need a shower myself. By the time, I am ready we’re both dead tired and sleeping is the most sexy thing in the world.

Me: How about waking up in 3 AM? Gideon is having nightmares and so let’s pretend you have them too and then like Eva, I will try to comfort you and then we’ll start from there.

Me: (Answering myself) No, it’s better to sleep. Sleeping is sexier. Sleeping is hotter. Sleeping is orgasmic.

Sylvia Day is not a mother I think; please correct me if I am wrong. Porn for me is when hubby is loading the dishwasher or when he is holding the vacuum. I can hear myself saying, faster and sometimes when he’s scrubbing the floor I say harder, yes harder!
Though my hubby is a bubble blower and a Debbie downer at its best; I love him that way. He helps me separate my dreams and reality because a lot of times I’m just confused. With all the stuff running through my mind, it’s hard sorting out the truth, lies and ideas but he’s always there reminding me that he’s my only Zac Efron and he can give me my fantasy island; always there to prove me that he’s more spontaneous than Gideon Cross but not as suave as Jason Bourne. I know I’m weird at times but I’m just lucky to have someone who can appreciate me the way I am.
While I find this game a bit bizarre, I think it’s fun and somehow sweet. Laughing till our jaws ache and till we fight because he farts is really a good thing in our married life. So ladies, please feel free to be weird at times. Surprise him with what’s running on your mind because we all know that monotony badly harms a relationship. Happy Valentine’s Day! Wink wink!


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