Yes, just like magnets!

My husband and I are opposite in a lot of things. I always test our dissimilarity by asking him if he likes this or that because if he said yes then oftentimes it’s a no for me.

 He’s a quiet person and I’m loud. I love laughing. I even researches jokes and read it to him. He tells jokes too and sometimes I pretended that it isn’t funny because it’s not really.

He’s a homebody and I am not. I love malls; I love dining out and everything. That I think is because I’m a stay at home mom and grocery shopping for me is an excursion. I can’t sleep the night before I will do the grocery. On the other hand, weekends for him I suppose are rest days, if I’m not mistaken.

 He’s good at math and I hate it. People, this is very important because if he’s good in math then he’s good in numbers and by numbers I mean money.  And if he knows how to divide cash then he’s probably good at budgeting which unfortunately, I am not.

When he sets his mind on a goal, he’ll get it. I have many small goals on the contrary. I will write a book so I will start, then I will find it hard and afterwards I’ll write a blog instead. One time I decided to study culinary arts because I think I will be a good chef but after trying chicken in peanut butter sauce and sesame seeds is really awful yet the cook vouch for its palatability; I realize that I am but a mother who roasts a chicken with salt on the skin and it’s perfect. I can change my goals easily and he’s really determined. Good for our family though.

He’s gorgeous and I am beautiful gazillion times. So still, we’re opposite on that.

He loves everything I cook and I don’t like everything he cooks. He loves cooking chilli and peppers and everything hot with some meat on it.

He don’t like chick flicks. He’s a Rambo!

He’s frugal and I don’t need to elaborate. Insert peace sign here.

I love reading. I read everything even the ingredients on canned goods and one time while loading the dishwasher I happen to see a Norwegian newspaper on the table I browse then read it. I didn’t understand a word because it’s in Norsk but I still read it. That’s me! When I want to learn something, I read. When he needs to know something he will you tube it.

He’s consistent and I change mind as often as our kids change their diapers. I will discipline the kids today, no more softie mommy I’ll say but then I will give in after some hugs and kisses. When he set the rules, we have to obey it. We will protest at times, shed some croc tears but the answer’s still no and that’s final. But we really need him that way otherwise we’ll be a bunch of undisciplined idiots.

I think I can write a book about how opposite we are but I don’t want others to think how unfortunate he is to have a wife like me. Obviously, he has all the good qualities and I’m mediocre.

We have some similarities too like eating good food and chatting about nonsense things. We love to plan our future, our retirement and our last will. We love goofing around and we both like Liam Neeson. We love to watch the kids sleeping and playing or we just love to watch them whatever they’re doing.  In general, our values in terms of parenting aren’t really in differing direction because we have to meet somewhere to make it work.

Yes, we have arguments. We fight but we make a vow to never sleep until we settled it. We say I love you everyday whenever we have chance because we feel it and we want our kids to be as affectionate as we are. Though our differences are evident, we embrace it. I have this theory that in marriage the more unlike you are the happier you will be because it will never be dull, it will always be fun laughing at your diversities.  Somehow we manage “to agree to disagree” and just like magnets we pull each other closer and we promise to stay the same until forever.



The Drunken Master

Why do I hate my husband when he’s drunk?

  1. He stinks like hell! Ok, I haven’t smelled the hell yet but I’m sure it’s the same.
  2. He’s too drunk; he can’t even undress himself and just dropped himself anywhere, it’s just so annoying.
  3. His snores are louder than ever and it keeps me awake all night long.
  4. (Sometimes) He throws while sleeping on OUR BED! Gawd, it would be acceptable if he just peed. And yes, I’d probably hate that too but at least the stench won’t be as horrible as that of his gag.
  5. Did I mention he stinks?! I mean the day after and the day after?

After reading the above statement, here’s the test. In a situation like this I’d probably do one of the following, choose carefully and please do not cheat.

A. Get a towel and warm water in the basin, you know like the servant do to “your majesty” when he’s drunk and then the following scene will be rated X.

B. Curse him! Threaten him that he will never be allowed to any drinking session for the rest of his life.

C. Ignore him. Let the matter rest overnight because tomorrow will be another day (with a sly smile on my face like a villain in a drama series.)

D. Both C & B, depends on the scenario.

The answer is D. It depends, if he’s a little drunk and still can talk and probably would remember something in the morning, then its C, but if he’s too drunk and won’t remember a thing then it’s B! Anyhow, I don’t want my hubby to remember me cursing him because he’s a very good husband when he is sober. So, I respect him (slightly) even when he’s in that state because I’m scared he’ll remember the disrespect.

 Wait, did anyone answer letter A? I’m wondering if other wives do such thing. Maybe it’s the right thing but c’mon! I don’t even touch him during this time and as a punishment he’ll have to wake up early to clean his mess and take a shower. Good for him, don’t you think? But for the sake of courtesy, I’ll ask him if he wants coffee or anything to help him with his hang over. I’m a good wife after all.

Still the question remains, why do men keep drinking? My husband’s answer will be the following:

  1. You will never understand because you’re a woman. (Ouch! I don’t want to translate it literally because we might find ourselves on higher court.)
  2. You don’t have friends. (Really, I’m a loner, do you believe that?!)
  3. It’s fun and it’s our bonding. (Is it really fun walking in criss -cross and throwing everything you have eaten and drank?)
  4. Because I have to, period. (Meaning, he’ll drink again!)

So, after contemplating for long hours I finally came up with an agreement. He’s no longer allowed to drink once or twice a month; instead he will only have once per year, to which he disagrees. Sigh!

I’m not drunk! just tipsssshhhhy!