1. I am not easily gross out by poop, snot, boogers, and puke. I know how to handle them. While enjoying my lunch one of my kids will call me to wash their butt; I will oblige and like nothing happens I will resume eating.
2. I found myself saying one or all of these phrases.
Stop licking your feet, your socks the lavatory, the table and the remote. Stop touching the toilet seat, my boobs, your butt and your sister’s/brother’s butt. Don’t put the crayons, dried rice on the floor, stray cereals and other objects edible or not edible on your mouth.
3. Cereals are important, without it there will be no breakfast or dinner sometimes.
4. I know there are no monsters but says otherwise when they ask if there’s a monster. It’s my way to scare them out of the cabinet.
5. I say yes without even hearing the question. I say “how beautiful!” to everything they’ve created.
6. I know the story of every Disney/Pixar anime and I sometimes wonder if toys do speak at night or when no one’s looking. I pronounce Eve/Eva like Eeeeee-ve-a just like Wall-e. I am not convinced that everybody needs a thneed because The Lorax is right. I sometimes quote master Oogway and I know that the voice behind Gnomeo and Arthur in Arthur’s Christmas is the same person. “Is that James Mc Avoy?”
7. I know Barney, answers to Dora the Explorer, and dance with the Hi-5. I always buy tickets to their mall shows too and will realize that Barney is nothing but a big stuff dinosaur toy in person. I still shout “Barney!” when he appears.
8. I love school days because of the free hours I have but wish for a school vacation when it’s raining or if I want to sleep more. I call in sick whenever this happens. After all they’re just preschool.
9. I hate that mother who allows their sick child in school.
10. I know sweets are bad but I always give in.
11. Tantrum is my greatest fear.
12. I have messy house until it’s two hours before their Daddy arrives. It’s tidy before dinner but will be chaotic again after dinner. I repeat cleaning before going to sleep and then I will sleep mad.
13. Although a hug nor a kiss won’t fix or tame my kids, I still hug and kiss all the time when they’re happy, when I’m happy, when they’re hurt or sad; I know the perfect timing to do this.
14. I yell at times. I swear on my mind after seeing the spilled milk, water, chocolate drink on the floors, tables, and carpets. I mumble and swear some more while wiping the mess but I say, “It’s ok baby…” instead.
15. I told them that I’m peeing blood because I’m tired. They know I pee blood or menstruating because they watch me pee, poop or shower. They love conversing with me (or ask something all of a sudden) while I’m doing one of these chores.
16. I finish phone conversations with “I’m sorry but my kids are climbing the window” or they will just cut me off because I’m yelling most of the time than talking. If the caller’s my best friend he won’t mind, he’ll just talk, wait and then go on.
17. I know if their breathing is not normal. I will know if it’s a cold or something worse. I know when to seek medical attention otherwise having them sick and resting in bed is a day off for me.
18. I know the sound if the fall is serious and if it isn’t I’ll just continue writing.
19. Once every week I will cook three sets of meals, one for each of my kids and my husband.
20. Sometimes I will realize that I’m like a tree because they keep climbing on me and pull my leaves hair in clumps.
21. I decline social invites just because I know I won’t enjoy talking and apologizing at the same time for all their mess.
22. I am comfortable with jeans or shorts, shirts and flats. When not going out, I stay in pyjamas and still change into pyjamas after I shower.
23. My parents mean so much to me because I now understand them and I feel grateful for everything.
24. My favourite food includes nuggets, Oreos and fries because leftovers should not be wasted.
25. My facebook, instagram and twitter are mostly about them and sometimes I over share.
26. I don’t ask for anything just food, house and basic needs; I just pray for their health and safety.
27. My life is all about them; yet odd it maybe, I feel happy and contented.